Graham Crackers

Why a daughter of a Holocaust Survivor is supporting the "guy with the Nazi tattoo”

I start every introduction of myself by saying I am the daughter of immigrants. My father was a Jewban (a Cuban Jew) and my mother a former child of the Holocaust. And it is their histories - their traumas, their survival stories - that have impacted my life more than anything else.

In a most unusual and fortuitous twist of fate - almost three decades ago I met my wife - a daughter of the American revolution who was an 18th generation Mainer. Our family histories and childhoods could not have been more different. Yet our shared values that brought us together and have been the foundation of the beautiful life and community we have created together.

If there is one thing I have learned from being married to a Mainer - it is there the people of that state divide you into one of two categories. You are either from Maine or you are “from away.” And needless to say, to Mainers, I am the latter.

But while Maine may never claim me as one of its own, I have forever been changed by the amount of time I have spent there. In all our time together, Ann and I have never missed a summer in Maine - and also shared a few fantastic Christmas family celebrations and beautiful fall hikes in Acadia. Over the years, Maine has become part of my and our family’s collective souls.

Which is why the upcoming election in Maine means something more to me than the importance of the Democrats taking back the Senate. Who is elected will impact my extended family that lives there. Family that includes a group of seventy and eighty something lesbians who live in Bar Harbor - on some of the most coveted and valuable real estate in the country - as well as nieces and nephews who are raising their love filled families in trailers in rural parts of Hancock and Lincoln counties.

For years my family in Maine has been represented by Susan Collins - a self described moderate - who has been anything but. She has voted with Donald Trump over 80% of the time - including her devastating acquiescence of voting for all his Supreme Court appointments.

In November of 2018, I ran into Senator Susan Collins in the bathroom at National Airport. It was just a few weeks after she gave a decisive vote to allow Brett Kavenaugh his seat on the Supreme Court. I was walking into my stall as she was coming out of hers - and I jumped on the chance to talk to her. I said “Senator Collins, my family is from Brooksville, my wife is an 18th generation Maine, and we could not be more disappointed in you.”

She shook her head and said to me in a most condescending tone, “I would think you and your wife would be grateful I support marriage equality.”

Without missing a beat, I replied, “thanks to your vote, my marriage will now be in jeopardy, as will our children’s access to reproductive health care, and my immigrant neighbors ability to live without fear.”

By this point we had blocked all traffic coming and going, and nothing will get you to move faster than the stares of weary and impatient travelers who need to pee. I walked into my stall. She went to wash her hands. Some things just cannot be compromised.

Like many people, the first thing I heard about Graham Platner was his “Nazi tattoo.” Like most people, I imagined a swastika. So I wrote him off.

Then several people I trusted, Jewish friends, Jewish leaders, called to say they’d met him and were impressed. So I went and did a little more research.

What I found were pictures of a tattoo of a badly drawn skull and crossbones. A version that I was unfamiliar with. I have studied the Holocaust extensively, watched nearly every film made about that period, and I have never seen this image used as a Nazi symbol.

Do I believe he didn’t know? Yes. For two reasons. First, during his time in service, Graham had two separate security clearance reviews, which includes among other things specifically examining tattoos for hate symbols. He passed both. U.S. government experts did not clock his tattoo as a Nazi related symbols. Another example of a very unfortunate tattoo mistake.

Second, is my case and point of a similar experience. Our own son got a tattoo a few years back from a very reputable tattoo studio. We all thought the artwork looked great - until a friend pointed out it strongly resembled a local gang symbol. Sometimes we do not know what we do not know.

Graham has since covered the tattoo and addressed it publicly and extensively. And perhaps most importantly, he has the support of a number of Jews who don’t just believe him, they believe in him. This includes many members of J Street. His Jewish family members. And me.

I know, the tattoo was not the only thing Graham has had to reckon with. There have been other remarks, other moments that were problematic. I have had the good fortune of spending many hours with Graham - welcoming him in my home, sharing drinks - speaking about them directly.

He has also addressed them publicly, spoken openly about therapy and growth, and apologized in ways that felt real rather than rehearsed. I believe him and choose to extend him the same grace I have extended to others.

Consider who a few of those others are. Almost every woman I know, myself included, supported Joe Biden. Yet, my first political memory of Biden was incredibly fraught. I had just started my job at the Chicago Foundation for Women and sat with my colleagues - all young women in our 20s and 30s - all who had experienced sexual harassment already in our lives.

And together we stood around a television in the office conference room to watch Biden, chairing the Clarence Thomas hearings. He presided over a panel of all-white male senators while Anita Hill gave brave and monumental testimony. Biden was not gracious or fair and impartial. Rather he was dismissive and at times downright disrespectful.

Had he handled that differently, we might not have Clarence Thomas - now the second longest-serving justice in the country - on the bench. Biden has since spoken often about his regret about his behavior and role in those hearings. We all accepted that acknowledgement and moved forward.

Closer to home, in 2003, I remember standing at a gay and lesbian political event, holding my almost three-year-old son, pleading with then-State Senator Barack Obama to support marriage equality. He told me he would not, that it wasn’t “politically prudent.” He then went further and stated publicly that he strongly believed marriage could only be between a man and a woman.

I and so many in my community felt betrayed by that. Our families were under attack and he was doing what was “politically prudent.” And yet, we still supported him. Believing if he won, we would hold him accountable. Help him change.

Last week, I walked through a preview of the Obama Center, much of it dedicated to what President Obama did for the LGBTQ community. Whe he said he “evolved” on this issue, we not only let him without questioning his sincerity, we celebrated him for doing so.

So can we offer some of that same grace to Graham Platner? I think the reason that is harder for many in my sphere is because he is so different from us. None of my close friends have served in the military or would be willing to let their sons go to war (myself included). As a result, we do not know people like Graham who have fought on behalf of ours and other countries or understand how those life altering experiences shaped their opinions. Which perhaps is what makes it easier to discount them.

Graham is definitely unlike most other electeds I have supported in the past. He is not a polished politician like Biden, not a Harvard-educated scholar like Obama. He is as foreign to many of us as I once was to Ann’s Maine family. We are all “from away” in some ways.

In the end - I support Graham for three key reasons. One, Graham speaks to Mainers. All of them. The women in Bar Harbor worried about conservation. My family in rural Hancock and Lincoln counties worried about how they are going to pay their bills. He doesn’t just code-switch between those worlds, he actually belongs to both. That is rare. That is everything in a state like Maine.

Two, Graham really connects with people in an authentic way. And at this time in the world, that feels more important than ever.

And three, I support Graham because he believes and wants to fight for a Democratic party more welcoming than we have become. One that focuses on the issues that impact our daily lives. It remains, as always, “the economy, stuipid.”

In the last 50 years this country has lost its middle class. The American dream my immigrant parents actually lived is now impossibly out of reach, yet the party still argues for who is most “moderate” and inoffesnsive - who won’t push “too much.”

A majority of the people in my life are in the top 10% of wealth in this country, including Ann and me. A number are in the top 1%. And yet we are paying less in taxes than the people who cut my lawn and cut my hair.

People fear a “revolution” - but what we fail to acknowledge is that we already lived through one this past decade. It was the MAGA revolution. And they won. They won the Republican party. The won the courts. They won the shaping of the economy.

And they did it by tapping into millions of people who felt left behind by a Democratic party that took those on the margins for granted.

The only way to a more just future for my son and his generation is to send more people to Congress who not only look like the rest of this country, but who are willing to stand up for it. Who are willing to fight, to organize others, to take risks and when they make mistakes, are willing to listen and learn and move forward.

I started this by saying I am the daughter of immigrants. It infuses every piece of me and how I experience the world. My parents knew what it is to be judged before being known. For many reasons, I know what that is like too. Which is why I have spent my life personally and professionally connecting as authentically as I can with others - and then asking people to look beyond the easy story. To be willing to adjust their narrative by learning more.

I hope people will do the same for Graham Platner.

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